September 25, 2011

A penny for your thoughts

I want to hear from all of you. This question is not implying that the flame in my relationship is gone. It's more of a topic interest that I would like to compile information from my followers and turn it into a useful article for others.That's what my writing is all about. I want to provide helpful, useful, inspiring information. Don't worry, I will give credit where credit is deserved. Let me know if you would like to be made anonymous or known.

 The question at hand: What do you do to keep the flame in your relationship?

(A big thanks to all those that follow this blog. You may think I am helping you, but your comments and feedback help me more than you know.)

September 24, 2011

There's no one like her

She is sometimes a huge pain in the butt. We don't always see eye to eye. Actually, very rarely are we on the same page. We have yelled and cried and yelled some more. We've had moments where we've only talked once a month and other times we've talked every day. She is stubborn and feisty. But, she's always there. She is always the first person I want by my side when I am sad or sick. She loves me unconditionally.She let me have my freedom as a child so I could learn to be strong on my own two feet. She taught me to be courageous and determined. She taught me to never except less than I deserve. She has encouraged me. She has pushed me. She has cheered me on when I was at my highs. And she has held my hand when I've hit my lows. When my heart aches she feels it. When I need to talk she knows it. She has watched me fall in and out of love. She has seen me go through every emotion. We are so different yet so the same. We are both fighters. We are both tough. We have a hard time trusting and loving. But, when we do love, we love with our whole hearts. She isn't perfect, but she never stops trying. She's my best friend. She's my momma. And there's no one like her.

I love you mom.

Love,

Your little princess




 

I am strong.

In no way shape or form am I trying to say that I have it any harder than anyone else on this earth because I know that there are people who have had and are having a lot harder time than I ever have or will. Life is tough. Life has been tough for me, what has seemed to be, always. But, I am strong. I pick myself back up every time I fall and I keep going. I have stayed numb to the hardships, trials and tribulations, pain and suffering, and have stayed strong. At some point the numbness starts to wear off. Then all the feelings you have been harvesting come flushing through all at once. I have fallen, but I am strong. I have a reason to rise.

The Fall

Darkness.
Alone.
Visions.
Flashbacks.
Dreams and hopes.
Broken.
Heart racing.
Sweat forming.
Panic.
Fear.
Pain.
Unbearable pain.
Tears.
Release.
Breakthrough.
Deep breaths.
Heart beat slows.
Reality returns.
It's over.


The Rise

Desire.
Passion.
Bond.
Love.
Quick, but honest.
Growth.
Trust.
Communication.
Dedication.
Determination.
Believe.
Remember old.
Hold onto new.
A team of two.
Happiness.
Years to come.
It's begun.

September 10, 2011

Remembering 9/11

Where were you on that harrowing day of 9/11?

I was in my sophomore computer class, probably chatting with the people around me instead of doing my work. Then the teacher turned on the TV and announced that the World Trade Center had just been hit by a plane. I got a call from my mom. We sat on the phone in silence for a moment as we watched. Her and my step dad were supposed to be on a plane to New York that day.

 The rest of class we sat and watched the news. It was on every channel. Everyone was confused as to how this plane hit the building. Was it an accident? I don't think the fact that it was a terroist attack really crossed many of our minds. And then the second building was hit.

We all ended up getting let out of school early to home to be with our families. It continued to be shown on every channel. Then the stories of the Pentagon being hit and the plane that crash landed in Pennsylvania joined the news reports. It was surreal. We were under attack.

Two and a half years later I was getting ready to graduate high school. I had a cruise planned with my mom, step dad and a good friend of mine. One of our stops before our cruise was New York. We only had about 10 hours there before we had to head to Puerta Vallarta to board our cruise. We took the red eye there so we spent the first few hours there sleeping off our exhaustion. Then we got up and went to explore the city. We went to the top of the Empire State Building to view one of the most beautiful city scapes I have ever seen. We went to the dock to view the Statue of Liberty. Unfortunately, we ended up missing the ferry out to it by about 15 minutes. Then we went to Ground Zero. Even just the walk to the site made you quiver. There wasn't much left of Ground Zero at that point besides a big hole in the ground and a big fence that went around it. On the fence were before and after pictures, stories and a list of names of those that were lost. It was overwhelming. You walk around the very grounds where so many people lost their lives. I felt sadness, compassion for their familes and anger towards the terroists that have forever left us with fear.

My mom and I stopped to get our pictures taken the fire station across the street from the World Trade Center. I couldn't help but feel the most deep amount of gratitude for those men.They told us how they attended friends and loved ones funerals every weekend for months. You could still see the somberness in their eyes. They truly are modern day heroes that will never be forgotten for their courage and admiration, those that are still with us nor those that were taken.

We stopped at what looked like a mangled sculpture that was right on Ground Zero. In front of the sculpture was a flame lite and a plaque. There was a lady security cop that was standing by the sculpture. She walked over to us and started to tell us about it. The reason it looked mangled is because it had once been in between the Twin Towers and was damaged by the debris in the collisions. The flame was an eternal flame that stayed lite for all the lives lost on that horrific day. She told us how she was working near the grounds on the day of the crash and remembers seeing people holding hands and jumping from the tops of the towers. She said it felt like it was a movie and there was not way it could be reality.

I had a hard time keeping my face dry while we were on the grounds. Even now, I look back at that moment and can't help but feel my eyes fill up with tears. The safety we felt in our country had been compromised. The day to day ease we went throughout our days with was forever changed. We were left with no choice but to fight back by sending loved ones to retaliate. Some are still there fighting the war today. We had lost the fight that day, but we will not lose the war. United we stand.

(In memory of those we lost on 9/11/2001)


9/11 : The Reckoning
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/08/us/sept-11-reckoning/escape.html?_r=1
Lucio Caputo, 78th floor, north tower

9/11 : The Reckoning

September 07, 2011

Some may call her other things...I call her a legend.

A friend of mine posted a comment by Marilyn Monroe on Facebook. I decided to look up some of her old videos. What a strong willed, fiery, sexy, vivacious, independent woman. She was so beautiful and talented. Yeah sure, she did some scandalous things, but she is human and like she said, "....if they care enough to bother with what I do, then I'm already better than them."


I love how she didn't care what other people thought of her. She was the author of her story and wasn't going to let anyone else take that role. You go girl!

Marilyn was more than just a pretty face. She was witty and intelligent. I found a few of her fabulous quotes. They made me smile. With the way this year started I needed to be reminded of a few things. For one, my worth. I needed to start over fresh and focus inward on the person that Ashley wanted to be. Like Marilyn says in one of my favorite quotes of hers, "...always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, who will, sweetie?"









Marilyn Monroe
June 1, 1926 - August 4, 1962

Love is my drug

What isn't there to love about love? Yeah, sometimes it leaves you, but it always finds its way back. There are valid reasons for me to choose the dark side and be a cynic. But, I don't like all of that negative energy floating around inside me. I choose love.

I watched a classic romantic movie the other night. It has yours truly, Ryan Gosling, and the beautiful Rachel Adams. Yes, my friends, it's one of the top-notch love stories around, The Notebook. As I watched it, for what was probably the twentieth time, I thought to myself there is something so magical about summer romances and young/new love. There's passion, excitement, adulation, adoration, infatuation, lust, salaciousness.....the list goes on. The pain of falling out of love or losing the love of someone is beyond painful, but it makes it all worth the heartache when you get to feel those feelings of new love all over again. It's like a drug.

 I came across this article about the chemistry of love. http://www.buzzle.com/editorials/3-27-2004-52238.asp It explains how we have a chemical that is released when we are "in love". One is  Phenylethylamine (known as the 'love molecule). It can be released by the touch of a hand or a look. When the heart racing and heavy breathing occurs it is an overdose of this chemical. Sad, but true. The other chemical is oxytoxin, or the 'cuddling' chemical. Like mentioned in the article she says, "This chemical promotes the need to be physically held, have close contact with he mate and makes both the sexes more caring. It can be released simply by a lover’s look, smell or even a fantasy."
And she sums it up very well with this last statement . "So much for the chemistry of infatuation. When infatuation subsides, another chemical takes over, which is responsible for intimate relationships. These chemicals are created by endorphins. They make a relationship steadier, intimate, dependable, warm and a great sharing experience. They do not induce a giddy high, but calmness and stability…hence are the reason why people stay married. The longer they are married, the longer two people stay together, because this chemical is addictive. It is endorphins that trigger grief on a spouse’s death or long separation, those yearnings for togetherness. The two types of attachments can be summed up as follows…adrenaline love is being in love with the idea of being in love. While endorphins, we like loving someone. By
I loved how she ended with "we like loving someone". That's how a relationship/marriage should be. It should be based on liking the feeling of loving that person. You can start with the adrenaline love because, lets be honest, the high from that is something we all like to feel. Adrenaline love being similar to how Noah and Allie (Ryan Gosling and Rachel Adams) started their courting. Over time they became each others addictions.
I love the idea of love, the act of love, the feeling of love....I love being in love. Here's to love and the people in our lives that are feeding our addiction.
Remarkable Love

My surprise visitor :)

Chris surprised me and came to visit this last weekend. It was SO nice having him here. I have missed him bunches! We got to have some cuddle time, relax time, and finally got to do some of the touristy things around the city. We went to Pike's Place and got to see the hustle and bustle of the Market. Parking was SUPER expensive, but it was worth getting to see it all. We also stopped by my favorite store, H & M and I did what we ladies like to call "shop til you drop". It's a dangerous store for me. I never find things that I like, but when I go there it's like my personal shopping heaven/hell. It's probably best that the closest one is 15 minutes away and  $14 for parking. haha We also went to see Crazy Stupid Love. Loved it! Ryan Gosling, eat your heart out! Yum! And Steve Carrell is a very funny man. They made a good duo in this movie. I recommend it.



Lots of shops.

We were really there!


All the fresh produce and seafood you could want.

The people. :)


Steep streets and lots of people all over downtown.

Getting ready to watch some True Blood.

Getting all the kisses I could on his last
night with me.

It was a short visit, but I will take what I
can get. He ended up having to leave
at 6 am on Monday to make it back in
time for his brother's wedding. He did
end up making it. :)

Now the wait until my visit in 9 days! Yay!

Bringing the first week to an end

After the hustle of trying to find an apartment, moving in and then starting my job it left us with a day and a half to get to explore the city. We didn't end up making it in time to see Pike's Place before they closed, but he came back for another visit recently and we finally got to go.

It seems that guys forget what to do with their
face when a camera is pointed at them. lol
Still cute. :)

Just got done eating on the dock downtown.

We didn't end up going to the Crab Pot this day,
but we did make it down before Chris had to leave.
It's a popular seafood restaurant on the dock.
They bring out your food and dump it on the table.
Expensive, but worth the experience at least once.

I forget the significance of the boat behind us,
but it was picture worthy. haha

Isn't that just gorgeous!?!

You're supposed to see the city behind, but the
good ol' flash helped to drown the city right out.

Better.

Day before Chris left. :(
Working on finishing our meal at the Crab Pot.

Beginning...Utah...Middle....Idaho and Oregon...New Home....Seattle, Washington

The 13 hour drive begins!


Crossing into Oregon. (my first time)

So excited to be on a road trip with his truly. :0)

Awe

Window cleaning in Oregon at a gas station
we are not allowed to pump our own gas.

Pretty landscape in Oregon.

They have the silliest signs. I felt like I learned so much
from all the random facts. lol


Big, tall trees.

I have that effect on most people.

Whatever is on that map seems
to be making him pretty happy.
We must have been getting close!

The trees started.....and never ended from here.

Welcome to Washington!

Crossed the border in Washington state! Woot!

Please do not judge my terrible photo taking.
This is a crappy pic, but it was the first one I got
as we saw the city for the first time. It was dark
and I was using my point and shoot. It doesn't like
moving and especially moving in the dark in a car.
You come out of a tunnel on the freeway and POP!
There's the city!

First pic of the Space Needle. lol
The flash ended up blinding Chris and
showed up blurry and dark. Oh well.
I can always take another. :)