Who is driving the steering wheel of your life?

No one can make you feel a certain way. You are the one that is in control of you. Start acting like it.

The one I wrote for you

I wrote this about 5 1/2 years ago for the love of my life. I look at it now with happy thoughts because remembering the good times is what life is all about.

The Path

A new day to live

A different path to explore

Dreams to seek

Behind each closed door

So much to be done

Many feelings to grow

Lessons to learn

Places to go

Through each passing day

I want you by my side

I want you as a lover

A friend and a guide

Together we'll have

Some good times and bad

Some things will make us happy

others will make us sad

No matter what happens

With each tear or mistake

Each moment will be

A memory we'll make

Even through our troubles

The won'ts, can's, and will's

We can make it over any mountain

Across any river and over the hills

I want to share my thoughts

My pain and my strife

I want to share my secrets

My dreams and my life

I want to give you

All the love in my heart

I can't wait for my life

With you to start

Ashley Remarkable in a nutshell

Things I don’t like:

-Mushrooms

-Chocolate

-Ice cream

-The color orange

-Mornings

-Chocolate chip cookies

-Raisins

-Peanut butter

-Mayo

-The smell of rain

-Watermelon flavored candy

-Roses

-Valentine’s Day

-Chicken

-Change

-When people are mad at me

-People touching my pillow

-People touching my face

-Feeling lost

-Bad listeners

-Lakes and Oceans

-Pure darkness

-Cooking

-People who interrupt

-Heights

-My legs

-The smell of swiss cheese or subway

-Watching baseball or golf

-Being rushed

-Maple syrup

-Not having a plan

-Having to make too many decisions at once

-Mtn dew

-Going longer than two days without shaving my legs

-Vacuuming

-Snakes

-Crickets and grasshoppers (worse than spiders by FAR!)

-Having my world turned upside down

Things I love:

-The smell of clean laundry

-Sleep

-Music

-Dancing like no one is watching

-Traveling

-Making people smile and laugh

-Giving hugs

-Laughing

-The color green

-Capturing life’s little moments on camera

-Watching Jazz games with my family

-The sound of the washer and dryer

-The sound of the dishwasher

-Home cooked meals

-Going on Sunday drives

-Writing

-The smell of babies

-Quoting movie lines

-The movie Elf, Sweet Home Alabama, Dirty Dancing, and Little Mermaid

-Songs with piano

-Playing the guitar

-The feeling of sand squishing through my toes

-Birthdays

-Olives

-Carbs

-Getting my hair done

-Making new friends

-Pepper

-Reading

-Walking around Barnes and Noble

-Coats

-Fall leaves

-My leg pillow

-Visiting old friends

-Traveling to new places

-The smell of coffee

-New York

-Taking naps in the middle of the day

-Bubble baths with eucalyptus bubble bath

-Spearmint gum

-Surprises

-People who can make me laugh until my stomach and face hurt

-Diet coke with lime and wild cherry pepsi

-Saying its fine when really it sucks ass

-What I love most is having the best friends in the entire world who love me for me and don’t stand behind me or in front of me, but beside me. 

Remarkable YOU

A few quotes I stumbled over today that made me smile.

Absence sharpens love, presence strengthens it.
Benjamin Franklin
  
As we must account for every idle word, so must we account for every idle silence.
Benjamin Franklin 

By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.
Benjamin Franklin

Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing.
Benjamin Franklin 
(Favorite one of the day!)

I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.
Benjamin Franklin

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
Benjamin Franklin
(Amen!!!)

Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
Benjamin Franklin 

Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.
Benjamin Franklin
(When I have kids I want to hang this where I can see it to help remind me how to be an effective parent) 

"To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world."
(Second favorite of the day :) )

Love yourself

Thanks for sharing Moni!

February 28, 2011, 5:26 pm

Go Easy on Yourself, a New Wave of Research Urges

By TARA PARKER-POPE

Stuart Bradford

Do you treat yourself as well as you treat your friends and family?
That simple question is the basis for a burgeoning new area of psychological research called self-compassion — how kindly people view themselves. People who find it easy to be supportive and understanding to others, it turns out, often score surprisingly low on self-compassion tests, berating themselves for perceived failures like being overweight or not exercising.
The research suggests that giving ourselves a break and accepting our imperfections may be the first step toward better health. People who score high on tests of self-compassion have less depression and anxiety, and tend to be happier and more optimistic. Preliminary data suggest that self-compassion can even influence how much we eat and may help some people lose weight.
This idea does seem at odds with the advice dispensed by many doctors and self-help books, which suggest that willpower and self-discipline are the keys to better health. But Kristin Neff, a pioneer in the field, says self-compassion is not to be confused with self-indulgence or lower standards.
“I found in my research that the biggest reason people aren’t more self-compassionate is that they are afraid they’ll become self-indulgent,” said Dr. Neff, an associate professor of human development at the University of Texas at Austin. “They believe self-criticism is what keeps them in line. Most people have gotten it wrong because our culture says being hard on yourself is the way to be.”
Imagine your reaction to a child struggling in school or eating too much junk food. Many parents would offer support, like tutoring or making an effort to find healthful foods the child will enjoy. But when adults find themselves in a similar situation — struggling at work, or overeating and gaining weight — many fall into a cycle of self-criticism and negativity. That leaves them feeling even less motivated to change.
“Self-compassion is really conducive to motivation,” Dr. Neff said. “The reason you don’t let your children eat five big tubs of ice cream is because you care about them. With self-compassion, if you care about yourself, you do what’s healthy for you rather than what’s harmful to you.”
Dr. Neff, whose book, “Self-Compassion: Stop Beating Yourself Up and Leave Insecurity Behind,” is being published next month by William Morrow, has developed a self-compassion scale: 26 statements meant to determine how often people are kind to themselves, and whether they recognize that ups and downs are simply part of life.
A positive response to the statement “I’m disapproving and judgmental about my own flaws and inadequacies,” for example, suggests lack of self-compassion. “When I feel inadequate in some way, I try to remind myself that feelings of inadequacy are shared by most people” suggests the opposite.
For those low on the scale, Dr. Neff suggests a set of exercises — like writing yourself a letter of support, just as you might to a friend you are concerned about. Listing your best and worst traits, reminding yourself that nobody is perfect and thinking of steps you might take to help you feel better about yourself are also recommended.
Other exercises include meditation and “compassion breaks,” which involve repeating mantras like “I’m going to be kind to myself in this moment.”
If this all sounds a bit too warm and fuzzy, like the Al Franken character Stuart Smalley (“I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me”), there is science to back it up. A 2007 study by researchers at Wake Forest University suggested that even a minor self-compassion intervention could influence eating habits. As part of the study, 84 female college students were asked to take part in what they thought was a food-tasting experiment. At the beginning of the study, the women were asked to eat doughnuts.
One group, however, was given a lesson in self-compassion with the food. “I hope you won’t be hard on yourself,” the instructor said. “Everyone in the study eats this stuff, so I don’t think there’s any reason to feel real bad about it.”
Later the women were asked to taste-test candies from large bowls. The researchers found that women who were regular dieters or had guilt feelings about forbidden foods ate less after hearing the instructor’s reassurance. Those not given that message ate more.
The hypothesis is that the women who felt bad about the doughnuts ended up engaging in “emotional” eating. The women who gave themselves permission to enjoy the sweets didn’t overeat.
“Self-compassion is the missing ingredient in every diet and weight-loss plan,” said Jean Fain, a psychotherapist and teaching associate at Harvard Medical School who wrote the new book “The Self-Compassion Diet” (Sounds True publishing). “Most plans revolve around self-discipline, deprivation and neglect.”
Dr. Neff says that the field is still new and that she is just starting a controlled study to determine whether teaching self-compassion actually leads to lower stress, depression and anxiety and more happiness and life satisfaction.
“The problem is that it’s hard to unlearn habits of a lifetime,” she said. “People have to actively and consciously develop the habit of self-compassion.”

Past...Present...Future

Today I could share a load of negativity running through my mind,but I will share this quote with you instead. 

 "One day at a time--this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering." Thomas S. Monson